It never fails, those pesky snails
are always in the pudding.
Lousy guests, those nasty pests,
they're always up to something.
I've tried like mad to find their nest
but snails are smart I must confess.
The trails they leave can fool the best,
and snails are good at hiding.
Oh well, at least they don't make threats,
they don't eat meat,
they don't place bets,
they almost always pay their debts
and never puff on cigarettes.
I think I'll keep those snails as pets
and feed them lots of pudding.
- by Calef Brown
from Polka-Bats and Octopus Slacks